by Brandon Voss

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked past this cute Ninth Avenue cheese and gourmet foods market without knowing what goes on in its dimly lit “back room.” Get your mind out of the gutter, boys - I’m talking about Kashkaval’s charming little wine bar and restaurant, which serves tapas, sandwiches, fondue and more in a warm, rustic atmosphere. When I finally discovered this gastronomical treasure with my colleague Sean, it was like stumbling across the secret passageway to Narnia.

We immediately fell for Kashkaval’s solid but unintimidating and customer-friendly wine list, on which reds are divided into the categories “light bodied,” “medium bodied” and “full bodied.” We like our wine like we like our men, so while I ordered a glass of the most robust Cabernet I could find, Sean predictably chose a more delicate Pinot Noir. We both, however, enjoy a generous pour!

A small sampler of cold Mediterranean tapas ($9), which offered not-so-small portions of four out of 16 appealing selections, was the perfect start. We selected a garlicky, tomato-based eggplant caponata; melt-in-your-mouth grape leaves stuffed with rice, onions, pine nuts, olive oil and herbs; a complexly flavored spicy walnut pepper spread made with fire-roasted peppers, minced walnuts, oil, garlic and parsley; and a lemony, highly addictive artichoke dip with a hummus-like consistency. Next, we had way too much fun with the restaurant’s namesake Kashkaval cheese fondue ($10 per person), a traditional cast iron pot bubbling with gooey, somewhat salty goodness and served with French baguette cubes. Carbophobe Sean skewered a side of assorted dippin’ veggies ($4) that included fresh raw mushrooms, broccoli, cherry tomatoes and cauliflower. Though a small serving of three cured meats and/or cheeses ($12) barely grated the surface of the market’s selections, we enjoyed the Talleggio, a pungent, buttery Monastery cheese; Jamon Serrano, a dry- cured ham from Spain; and Sopressata Picante, a spicy Italian dry-cured salami.

Sean and I couldn’t walk out without trying the chocolate fondue ($6 per person), a pot of thick, dark decadence served with a plate of fresh strawberries, red grapes, sliced banana, mini marshmallows, macaroon chunks and lemon-brushed apple pieces - none of which survived a delicious drowning.

I’m tempted to not even print this review because I don’t want word of my new favorite Hell’s Kitchen hideaway spreading too quickly. But with less than 10 constantly flipping tables, it’s probably too late for that. So come early, come prepared to wait and, most important, come hungry.

Kashkaval, 856 Ninth Ave (between 55th & 56th sts), 212-581-8282, $

Say (Kashkaval) Cheese!